There comes a time in EVERY parent's life where they are faced with the many questions a curious child has. I've dealt with these questions since my oldest, our son, could say "mama" and express feelings through facial expressions. It's not hard to see when a child is wondering, "Wow! How did mommy do that?!" It's not hard to see when a child is confused when they raise an eyebrow and continue to stare at an object that baffles them.
Now, my daughter, our youngest, surprised me yesterday with a few questions that came, completely, out of the blue! Let me set the scene for you and begin on this wonderful journey into the beginning of life...
Standing at the sink in our kitchen, she walks up to me with a quizzical look on her pretty, round face and her eyebrows furrowed a bit. I had to do a double take to make sure she wasn't hurt or anything. Now, in the moment I looked at her and looked back to the sink full of dishes, I asked her, "What's wrong, baby doll?"
She looks at me with her bright gray eyes and puts a finger to her mouth to chew on her nail. (A nervous habit she picked up from Goddess only knows where.) I stopped washing dishes, dried my hands and asked her, again, "What's wrong?"
She looks up, matter-of-factly and says, "Mom, I get where babies come from. I know they come from your belly. But how do they get there?"
Here we go. THE moment that stupefies ALL parents at one point in time. And, believe me when I say, I was NOT ready for a 4 (almost 5) year old to ask this just yet. I stood there, trying to think of a great answer to her question when it dawned on me. "I don't have to REALLY go into detail. She just asked 'How do they get there?' So, yeah, I can answer that."
I cleared my throat and came up with a BRILLIANT answer!
"Well, sweetie, the daddies put the babies in the mommies' bellies."
I stood there, feeling like I was GODLY, with that meme that sports "Fuck Yeah!!" off to the side. I had done it. I skirted the question that parents are never quite ready for! I gave an honest answer and I was the best mom in the WORLD!
Then it happened. Another question. I saw it coming. I knew it was about the same thing. I was ready!
"Okay, I get that. But HOW do the daddies put the babies in there?!"
O.O
Wow, woman, you sure do know how to "solve" shit...
I stood there, not wanting to give the honest answer to a child who, in my opinion, is just a little bit too young to know the full details of the situation. So, I did what any other parent would do...
I panicked.
"Well, sweetie, that's a pretty complicated story and I'm not too sure you're ready for it."
She places her hands on her hips. "If I wasn't ready, mom, I wouldn't have asked."
Mind you, this is coming from the mouth of a 4 year old who is turning 5 in, exactly, 1 week! Suddenly, our youngest looked like she was 14 and defying me because she doesn't agree with her curfew.
I placed my hands on my hips and stood there for a few minutes, trying to come up with a way to answer this withOUT sending her off in an exploratory state of mind. I tried... And I failed....
I made a few calls. I didn't really get a proper answer, not that there IS one for this situation. I decided to ask her if I could answer her question later on, tomorrow. Shrugging her shoulders and rolling her eyes while sitting on my lap, she popped off with, "I guess so." And then she gave a sigh.
Now, mind you, I tried to figure this out for a few hours afterward and decided to not mull over it and let it slide until I figured out a way to answer this. If I tell her the entire truth, there is a good chance she'll go to school, say something to her classmates and then they repeat it to their parents. This makes for a BUNCH of pissed off phone calls made to the school and then forwarded to me about the subject matter. BUT I didn't want her to think that I was blowing the question off and ignoring her. That's FAR from the case! I needed time to answer this properly.
Later on, while I was on a call with my husband, she called out the EXACT same question to him. And, not missing a SINGLE fucking beat, told her, "Pumpkin, you're still too young to know the answer to that just yet. Wait a li'l bit."
I sat there thinking, "Good luck with that one, baby. She's going to continue to ask it." I smirked and waited for her to ask it over and over.
"Okay, daddy." **goes back to coloring in her book, no questions asked**
I sat in my chair, the same one as I am now, and with my jaw agape thought to myself, "I HATE it when he's able to squash these questions while I get the barrage of curiosity over and over to no end!"
I was so jealous of him at that moment! He'd been able to buy time just by telling her she's too young. AND SHE LET IT GO!!! I tell her she's too young and I get attitude from HELL about it from her! I was lost! And he found the way.
So, to my husband, I thank you for being the parent with the level head and the intellect to know what to do and WHEN to do it. Your wife (me) is a ball of PANIC when it comes to this shit! And to those who might be reading this? Good Luck! And I hope you can figure out a way to answer your child's questions better than I could!
~Cassandra 4-7-2012
Now, my daughter, our youngest, surprised me yesterday with a few questions that came, completely, out of the blue! Let me set the scene for you and begin on this wonderful journey into the beginning of life...
Standing at the sink in our kitchen, she walks up to me with a quizzical look on her pretty, round face and her eyebrows furrowed a bit. I had to do a double take to make sure she wasn't hurt or anything. Now, in the moment I looked at her and looked back to the sink full of dishes, I asked her, "What's wrong, baby doll?"
She looks at me with her bright gray eyes and puts a finger to her mouth to chew on her nail. (A nervous habit she picked up from Goddess only knows where.) I stopped washing dishes, dried my hands and asked her, again, "What's wrong?"
She looks up, matter-of-factly and says, "Mom, I get where babies come from. I know they come from your belly. But how do they get there?"
Here we go. THE moment that stupefies ALL parents at one point in time. And, believe me when I say, I was NOT ready for a 4 (almost 5) year old to ask this just yet. I stood there, trying to think of a great answer to her question when it dawned on me. "I don't have to REALLY go into detail. She just asked 'How do they get there?' So, yeah, I can answer that."
I cleared my throat and came up with a BRILLIANT answer!
"Well, sweetie, the daddies put the babies in the mommies' bellies."
I stood there, feeling like I was GODLY, with that meme that sports "Fuck Yeah!!" off to the side. I had done it. I skirted the question that parents are never quite ready for! I gave an honest answer and I was the best mom in the WORLD!
Then it happened. Another question. I saw it coming. I knew it was about the same thing. I was ready!
"Okay, I get that. But HOW do the daddies put the babies in there?!"
O.O
Wow, woman, you sure do know how to "solve" shit...
I stood there, not wanting to give the honest answer to a child who, in my opinion, is just a little bit too young to know the full details of the situation. So, I did what any other parent would do...
I panicked.
"Well, sweetie, that's a pretty complicated story and I'm not too sure you're ready for it."
She places her hands on her hips. "If I wasn't ready, mom, I wouldn't have asked."
Mind you, this is coming from the mouth of a 4 year old who is turning 5 in, exactly, 1 week! Suddenly, our youngest looked like she was 14 and defying me because she doesn't agree with her curfew.
I placed my hands on my hips and stood there for a few minutes, trying to come up with a way to answer this withOUT sending her off in an exploratory state of mind. I tried... And I failed....
I made a few calls. I didn't really get a proper answer, not that there IS one for this situation. I decided to ask her if I could answer her question later on, tomorrow. Shrugging her shoulders and rolling her eyes while sitting on my lap, she popped off with, "I guess so." And then she gave a sigh.
Now, mind you, I tried to figure this out for a few hours afterward and decided to not mull over it and let it slide until I figured out a way to answer this. If I tell her the entire truth, there is a good chance she'll go to school, say something to her classmates and then they repeat it to their parents. This makes for a BUNCH of pissed off phone calls made to the school and then forwarded to me about the subject matter. BUT I didn't want her to think that I was blowing the question off and ignoring her. That's FAR from the case! I needed time to answer this properly.
Later on, while I was on a call with my husband, she called out the EXACT same question to him. And, not missing a SINGLE fucking beat, told her, "Pumpkin, you're still too young to know the answer to that just yet. Wait a li'l bit."
I sat there thinking, "Good luck with that one, baby. She's going to continue to ask it." I smirked and waited for her to ask it over and over.
"Okay, daddy." **goes back to coloring in her book, no questions asked**
I sat in my chair, the same one as I am now, and with my jaw agape thought to myself, "I HATE it when he's able to squash these questions while I get the barrage of curiosity over and over to no end!"
I was so jealous of him at that moment! He'd been able to buy time just by telling her she's too young. AND SHE LET IT GO!!! I tell her she's too young and I get attitude from HELL about it from her! I was lost! And he found the way.
So, to my husband, I thank you for being the parent with the level head and the intellect to know what to do and WHEN to do it. Your wife (me) is a ball of PANIC when it comes to this shit! And to those who might be reading this? Good Luck! And I hope you can figure out a way to answer your child's questions better than I could!
~Cassandra 4-7-2012
